With a name like Eros, the Greek god of love, you're almost predestined to have a career related to human relationships. Such was the case for Eros Miranda, a relationship coach, TikTok influencer, and host of the Eros to the Heart podcast.
Since Miranda was a child, he was curious about love and the intricacies of what makes a successful coupling. "I recall always wanting to help others and was particularly intrigued about relationship dynamics," he says. "I wanted to understand why certain individuals were in healthy relationships, while others were being mistreated."
His passion for helping others led him to law school and a focus on family law. “I chose Notre Dame because I believed in the philosophy of their law school: Use the law as a vocation to serve others," he says.
His legal career started in Florida in 2018, but at the same time, he realized he wanted to use his expertise to help individuals in all aspects of their relationships.
"Specifically, I noticed that those in unhealthy relationships had their backs against the wall, so I wanted to offer alternatives and solutions that went beyond the legal aspects," he says. He became a certified relationship coach to broaden his ability to assist others.
Today, he's not just a lawyer guiding clients through the legal process but an empathetic, advice-giving counselor to those struggling to be heard.
Social media influence
With 1.2 million TikTok followers, Miranda is fulfilling a need for people in a relationship seeking his expertise. "I understood that as my influence grew so did my responsibility to make a positive impact."
Miranda gives credit to his legal background and training in analytical and critical thinking for his success as a relationship coach and expert. "I learned that no two scenarios are alike. I identify the problem and develop the solution," he says.
"When I hear, 'Eros, you really saved my relationship' or 'Eros, you made me realize I was in a toxic relationship,' I have never felt so accomplished as when I help those people," he says. A noble effort, and likely approved by his godly counterpart.
We sat down to get some love tips straight from Eros himself.
Learn your love languages
Miranda is influenced by Dr. Gary Chapman's love languages and encourages couples to discover how you and your mate prefer to show and receive love. "How do they like to be loved?" he asks. "Is it words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts?" Couples can explore the love languages philosophy together.
High on the list of successful coupling is to be good listeners, Miranda says. That means not just waiting for your turn to talk. Repeat back to them what they've said, then add your voice. Pay attention and truly learn about your partner, Miranda says. "Notice if they like to be held or told they're going to be OK, how they react to certain situations," he adds.
On Valentine's Day, you may want to try expressing your feelings with words of affirmation (one of the love languages). Whether in a letter or card, write from the heart, Miranda says. Take time to sit down and compose something sweet and thoughtful. Maybe this is the year you try a love poem, or, Miranda suggests, a romantic list of songs.
Romanticize the little things
People often wonder how to get the honeymoon phase, or the spark, back. Miranda suggests finding romance in the day to day. "In the beginning, everything is butterflies and rainbows when you're falling in love," Miranda says with a laugh.
“The honeymoon phase is being reliable. Calling in the morning and saying, 'I'm going to have a busy day at work, I'll call you later,'" he says. Couples often get too comfortable, and we take each other for granted.
Miranda also says we should be grateful for our partners. Say thank you. Remember that relationships are a choice, and every day you are choosing to be with your partner.
Write a sticky note that says "Have a great day!" Offer a back massage. Sit with your teen when he's watching his favorite show. Arrange a dinner delivery for a friend when she's having a hard week. Or send flowers. All these are expressions of love.
"Gifting flowers is so beautiful," Miranda says. "It's an unexpected yet thoughtful gift that immediately shows appreciation and love for the recipient, even if it's not a romantic partner."
While relationships require work, sometimes putting in the effort is fun. That's why Eros loves Valentine's Day. "The day is a chance to revamp the relationship. Break routines. Get love back. Do something special. Flirt like the beginning. Prioritize intimacy." Plan dinner, a date night, or bring home roses in her favorite color, he suggests.
Address challenges
The top issue Miranda sees in relationships today is communication. No surprise there, as couples have been trying to figure out how to talk to each other since, well, Zeus and Hera. Communication is the basis of a healthy, loving relationship.
When we disagree, childhood needs can bubble to the surface. We might not feel safe. We might want to run. We might want to fight. Know yourself. If you're not ready to talk, tell your partner you need a moment to collect yourself. Say you need a break, perhaps a walk to gather your thoughts, but you'll be back.
Returning to the conversation when you're ready puts you in a better mindset and could save many relationships, he says. It's OK to say, "Hey, I'm just not in a space to discuss this right now, but I care about you, and I will return to the conversation when I'm able." Then make sure you follow through.
Miranda recommends using "I" statements to take the burden off your significant other. That means focusing on how you're feeling instead of their actions. "Say, 'I feel distant because we haven't been connecting as much as we could have,'" he says. Suggest ways to come together, perhaps having lunch together, or if you're in a long-distance relationship, set up a call every morning or at night.
"Approach those tough conversations in a very amicable way," he adds. There's nothing more important than being kind.
Be your best you
Miranda emphasizes that while we love our partners, it's important not to lose our sense of self. His mindset: The couple is stronger together when each person is at his or her most fulfilled individually.
The confidence you get from making yourself the best person you can be is so important for you but also makes you more attractive to your partner. "Improve yourself by working out, focus on your academics or your job," he says.
But that doesn't mean you should forget about your loved one's passions. Embrace what your partner likes. Loving someone means loving all of them. Their sports or personal interests can flow over to you and strengthen your bond. Their enthusiasm for what they love can be exciting for you, too, if you let it.
Share your love with curated gift picks from the Eros Miranda collection page. From a Passion for Purple Roses flower bouquet to a Denarii Lavender Spa Tower, these gifts will bring joy to your loved one.
AUTHOR
Elizabeth Craig Wells is a former senior editor at Real Simple magazine, where she focused on the life, style, and simple solutions sections. Wells holds a B.A. in French and B.M. in flute performance from Northwestern University. She lives with her three children in Connecticut, where she coaches soccer and tennis and is working on a series of contemporary novels.