Kathleen Williams is a pro at balancing the demands of work and family — both of which, in her case, are a bit out of the ordinary.
The owner of a thriving photography business, Williams relishes capturing the cherished moments of her clients from behind the lens. But her real joy comes from her life as a wife to her husband, Ashley; mom to her 4-year-old son; and stepmom to her 15-year-old stepson and 12-year-old twin stepson and stepdaughter.
Stepping into a preexisting family dynamic isn't easy, though. So, when Williams met her future stepchildren for the first time eight years ago, she decided the best approach was to try and connect with them over something she knew they’d love. "I bought ice cream, and we made sundaes," she says. "From there, we just started doing little activities here and there — we'd play games, go apple picking, that kind of stuff. It was a great way to get to know them."
By the time the couple got engaged a few years later, Williams’ relationship with the kids was flourishing. Ashley even included the kids in his marriage proposal, which took place Easter morning. “During our egg hunt, Ashley gave me a letter from the Easter Bunny that said there was a special egg for me; he hid my ring in it,” she says. “When I opened it, everyone was jumping up and down and screaming.”
Learning the ropes
Williams acknowledges the learning curve that accompanies becoming a “bonus mom,” and admits she struggled with it early on. “When you have your own baby, there are pediatricians and nurses walking you through the milestones, health concerns, all that stuff,” she says. “I didn’t have any of that at the beginning. It’s literally like learning a new job — but I do feel like my life history helped prepare me to walk into this role.”
Helping ease the transition was the fact that she, too, comes from a large, blended family. After her parents divorced, they each remarried and had more children, whom Williams had a part in raising. (Her father remarried a second time, and his wife brought seven of her own children into their marriage; altogether, Williams has 13 siblings and step siblings.) “I feel like my life has been about figuring out how to think differently in every situation,” she says.
Getting the picture
Williams’s interest in photography began in high school. Although she went down many different career paths, including studying engineering in college, and working in customer service and tech, she always found her way back to her passion. “When I was overwhelmed in life, I would take photos. And one day I realized I really loved doing it,” Williams says.
So, in 2012, she left the workforce to launch Kathleen Virginia Photography in Chicago.
“When I moved to the suburbs with my husband, I wasn’t getting enough business,” she says.
She had an idea, though. She would offer “mini sessions” — 20-minute photo sessions that were available only in the summer and fall — that were more affordable than full sessions and that also would allow her to spend more time with her family during the holidays.
“All of a sudden, business blew up!” Williams exclaims. She went from 15 mini sessions in that first year to the 150 she now averages.
Running her own business gives Williams the flexibility to make her own schedule, and she can choose how to spend her free time, whether that’s taking her son to hockey lessons or gardening. It’s the perfect work-life balance. “I’m very thankful and blessed that my business has grown so much,” Williams says. “It has allowed me to be a mom and stepmom at home.”
Building new memories
One challenge of integrating a blended family is finding harmony around the holidays. Between the split visitation schedule with Ashley’s children and adapting to traditions that were in place before she showed up, Williams does her best to go with the flow when it comes to holiday plans and ideas.
But she also looks for creative ways to make new memories as a family through activities and projects, whether that’s having regular movie nights, creating a butterfly garden, or making an ice rink on the pond behind their property. “We do a big Christmas Eve ice skate every year,” Williams says.
That is something she has carried with her from her childhood, when her stepfather would build a rink in their backyard. “My step grandfather started a tradition in the ’80s of having a family skate every Christmas season, and my step uncle is keeping it going,” Williams says. “I was always grateful we were included in the family, which made me feel welcome.”
Williams offers guidance for others navigating a blended family. She encourages connecting to stepchildren by embracing things they enjoy while exploring new activities with them. Williams introduced her stepdaughter to the art of flower arranging; now, the two bond over creating flower bouquets for the holidays.
Aside from spending quality time together, she knows the most important thing is to remain loving and supportive when problems arise. Says Williams, “It requires patience and understanding.”
AUTHOR
Rebecca Razo has over 20 years of experience in book and magazine publishing, editorial project management, and content creation. She has overseen the creative development of hundreds of books, and she writes across multiple categories, including art, DIY, home decor, lifestyle, and more. Originally from Southern California, Rebecca now lives in the Pacific Northwest where she enjoys hiking, reading, baking, and cuddling with her two dogs and cat.
