Valentine's Day wasn't always limited to celebrating romantic love. In fact, experts say St. Valentine himself had an expansive definition of love and how it can be shared.
Increasingly, people recognize that Feb. 14 isn't just about celebrating your significant other. It's also an opportunity to celebrate moms, dads, grandparents, kids, stepkids, friends, and even your fourth-grade teacher who still emails you about her favorite class-time memories.
But this shift raises a question: As traditional Valentine's Day morphs into a Valentine's Day for all, what do we give to one another to express our feelings? We spoke to experts for advice.
Start with a card
The simplest form of expression is a greeting card that conveys, in your own writing, your feelings for the recipient.
“Giving a card is a must because what we write in the card is particularly important," says writer/artist Deanna Washington, author of "The Language of Gifts." “It's a way to express what we specifically appreciate about the people in our lives."
For example, she says, you could give everyone in your office Valentine's Day cards to call out exactly what you like about them. Messages could include:
- “Hey, I dig how cheerful you are on Mondays. Mondays make me want to be a grouch, but your attitude really makes things better."
- “I just want you to know that I notice YOU are the one who makes coffee when the pot is empty. Thank you!"
- “I appreciate that you always have ideas even when no one else does."
Don't forget the gift
Gifts, like cards, should be personalized. She prefers to give people Valentine's Day flowers or other gifts that represent the recipient or symbolize the relationship.
“Gifts should be more symbolic on this day, to represent just what that person means to you," she says. “'My friend, I'm giving you this daisy because the open face of this flower is its true glory, and your open honesty is what I can always count on from you.' Or to a beloved aunt: 'I'm giving you chocolates because you bring such richness into my life.'"
Gifts shouldn't be too extravagant, says Mark Williams, Ph.D., professor of cognitive neuroscience at Macquarie University in Sydney. Instead, they should make everyone feel like they can get involved without too much strain on the pocketbook. And, most important, they should show you've really thought about the person and given them something special to them.
“Personalized socks or boxers with a picture of their face or their dog is a possibility," says Julie Kenney, founder and president of The Gifting Experts, a company that creates gift bags for celebrity and charity events. “Or even personalized jewelry or cookies. You can also give them the gift of an experience that you know they'll love."
Consider giving the gift of time
Along those lines, says Ellen Langer, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Harvard, you don't technically have to get a gift at all. “Instead of buying things to show your affection, why not just do special things for people you care about?" she says.
Williams agrees that the greatest gift we can give someone is our time — especially just spending time with them. “I think creating a meal, like at Thanksgiving or Christmas, where we all sit and eat together, would be an especially important new tradition."
Valentine's Day gifts for all shopping guide
Here are other ideas for Valentine's Day gifts for everyone on your list.
For mom
For mom
Shop : Fields of Europe® Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
Wait, is it Mother's Day already? Give mom that flower delivery moment when she receives her favorite floral arrangement. Mother's Day may come just once a year, but you can create another opportunity to say you love her with flowers, such as this Straight from the Heart arrangement, on this day of love.
Shop : Fields of Europe® Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
For dad
For dad
Shop : Diamond Decanter 2 Glasses Set from 1-800-Flowers.com
You've caused the man enough stress in his life; now get him something that will help him decompress and relax. This nifty-looking, hand-crafted decanter comes with two crystal-shaped glasses, and will house his favorite whiskey, scotch, brandy, or another liquor of his choice. If you're lucky, he may even pour you a glass from it (but don't count on it).
Shop : Diamond Decanter 2 Glasses Set from 1-800-Flowers.com
For young kids
For young kids
Shop : Lotsa Love® Big Bear™ For Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
Your little ones are going to be seriously excited when they receive a plush bear that can include a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Great for naps, reading, and imaginative play.
Shop : Lotsa Love® Big Bear™ For Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
For older kids
For older kids
Shop : Little Whisk Chocolate Lover's Mini Cupcakes from 1-800-Baskets.com
Your tweens, teens, and college-aged kids may have graduated from chicken fingers, but it will be hard for them to ever resist something sweet. Gift them a dozen Little Whisk Chocolate Lover’s Mini Cupcakes that come in 12 totally unique flavors, including chocolate peppermint, toasted coconut, and s’mores.
Shop : Little Whisk Chocolate Lover's Mini Cupcakes from 1-800-Baskets.com
For friends
For friends
Shop : Sweet Heart Bamboo from 1-800-Flowers.com
You're two peas in a pod...so why not get a gift that represents you two like a pair of heart-shaped stalks of bamboo? (This gift is also available in single- or triple-stalk varieties, but for Valentine's, we think the double is most appropriate.) Plants are having a moment, as they’re easy to care for and beautiful — a gift that is an apt metaphor for your friendship.
Shop : Sweet Heart Bamboo from 1-800-Flowers.com
For someone special
For someone special
Shop : Fleur De Chocolate® Belgian Chocolate Roses – Love & Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
Give your sweetie the sweetest gift imaginable — a hatbox of gourmet chocolate roses. Your loved one will be overjoyed by the thoughtful gesture, and you will win major points in the romance department.
Shop : Fleur De Chocolate® Belgian Chocolate Roses – Love & Romance from 1-800-Flowers.com
AUTHOR
Mark Teich is a veteran magazine journalist who specializes in health, medicine, psychology and fitness. His work has appeared in dozens of magazines, including Psychology Today, OMNI, and Harper’s Bazaar. He has a bachelor's degree in English literature from UCLA and a master's in fine arts from Columbia University.
