There’s nothing like the joy we feel when we watch someone we care about unwrap a gift we got for them.
Picking out great presents is about more than just knowing someone — it’s an art form. One study shows that the exchanging of a gift can reveal how people think about each other, how they build and maintain their relationships, and, ultimately, how they feel about another person.
One of the authors of the study, Cindy Chan, an assistant professor of marketing at the University of Toronto Scarborough, says that experiential gifts often strengthen our relationships because they answer the question of why we gift — that is, to show people we care. But it’s important to remember that gifts exist on a continuum, Chan says.
“Some things are clearly material, some things are experiential, and some are in between — like food, for example, ends up being a little bit of both,” she says. “It has a material, tangible component to it, but there’s the experience of eating and consuming a food. If you highlight the experiential nature of a gift, you can capture that connection benefit of an experiential gift.”
Ultimately, though, no matter what you gift, the connection is what matters most.
From the moment the person spots the gift intended for them to the second their fingers unwrap their present, a beautiful scenario plays out that puts a big smile on the face of anyone who's around. And if the gift came directly from you, then you feel a sense of joy that's hard to put into words.
But as much we love the idea of giving gifts, the actuality of picking out the perfect present for a loved one, friend, or colleague can be a struggle. While we all want to choose the right gift, actually doing so can be a challenge.
How exactly you pick out the perfect present — material or experiential — is another story entirely. Here are a few tips to guide you on the path toward becoming the best gift giver.
Tips for top-notch gifting
You know the old adage “It’s the thought that counts”? Well, it absolutely applies to gift giving.
According to a study from psychologists at the University of Oslo, people are more inclined to feel pressure when they’re giving a gift than when they receive a gift. This tells us that, for the most part, gift recipients are just thrilled someone put in the effort to think of them.
In other words, as the gift giver, cut yourself some slack and don’t overthink it. Odds are, the person on the receiving end of your generosity will be over the moon you thought of them in the first place.
1. Pay attention, listen, and take notes
Do your best to listen to your family and friends year-round to really understand who they are and get a feel for what they like, care about it, and desire. Typically, the people around us openly communicate about these things, and if you're smart about it, you may uncover the perfect gift idea.
Whether it’s a mention of something they enjoy, an object they wish they could afford, or something they truly love to do, people love talking about themselves and their wants...so pay attention!
Our advice? Keep a running list or note on your phone, in your journal, or on your computer, and add to this list continually. That way, the next time you’re in a present slump, you can consult with your list for help.
2. Know who you're shopping for
While this might not always apply to your gift-giving process (office-wide Secret Santa games, we’re looking at you), in most cases, keeping perspective about who you’re shopping for and what they’re interested in can help steer you in the right direction.
Remember, the gift isn’t about what’s important to you — it’s about the person receiving the gift. When it comes to top-tier gifting, knowing your audience can be a game-changer.
3. Respectful snooping is OK
We’re not saying you should go through someone’s phone or start rummaging through their bathroom cabinets, but paying extra attention and going into full detective mode can help clue you into what your friends and family might be receptive to.
Take a look at their homes, their hobbies, their cars, their routines. Do a quick scan of their social media. Do a little investigating and some serious research.
Sleuthing around in this way can truly open up your eyes. Our advice? Be careful not to get caught respectfully digging around in their lives — that can be a hard thing to explain away!
4. Think outside the box
Remember: Just because there’s pressure to put something great inside a gift box doesn’t mean you have to think inside that box! Giving a great gift is all about using your creative brain, which often means forgoing the routine, the boring, the normal. For example, maybe your gift recipient doesn’t want something that can fit inside a box at all; instead, they might be more grateful for a fun experience, time with you, or a relaxing trip.
Giving the gift of an experience — potentially one you enjoy doing together — can strengthen your relationship, build your bond, and matter more to people who aren’t fans of material possessions.
5. Don’t shy away from sentimentality
Well-selected gifts are often incredibly valuable, but not in the way you might think. These kinds of gifts carry a sentimental value, and are laden with emotion or foster a connection between the gift giver and the receiver.
Though sentimental gifts can be hard to come up with, studies find that recipients of presents often prefer sentimental gifts (and that gift givers don’t give sentimentally valuable gifts as often as they would like).
In other words, if you’ve got a great idea for a sentimental gift for your loved one, go for it. It'll mean more to them than any high-priced present ever could.
AUTHOR
Beginning her writing career as a print journalist, Hanna Marcus worked as a beat reporter and general assignment reporter in newsrooms throughout Florida including The Tampa Bay Times, The Orlando Sentinel, The Naples Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun. Now a full-time freelance writer, she writes for clients such as Hot Topic, New Balance, BoxLunch, and others.