Sara Cunningham has made it her life’s mission to show up for love.
As the founder of Free Mom Hugs, an organization dedicated to advocating for the LGBTQIA+ community, the mother of two thirtysomething sons spends much of her time sharing her personal journey — one that is still ongoing. She hopes her story will resonate with others, but she acknowledges that her transformation was not easy and that it necessitated a complete rewiring of everything she believed to be true.
Cunningham’s path to enlightenment began with her youngest son, Parker, who is gay. But the heart of her story started years earlier.
“My husband, Rex, and I were both raised in conservative Christian families,” she says. After the couple married, they joined an evangelical Southern Baptist church in Oklahoma City, where they spent the better part of 20 years building a community of friends who shared their faith. “We grew up believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we raised our children accordingly.”
When Parker was in his early teens, he began opening up about his sexuality to his parents. “I thought something bad had to happen to him to make him gay or that we failed as parents,” Cunningham says. “I had absorbed this idea that homosexuality was wrong, that it was the ultimate offense to our faith.”
Cunningham expresses deep sorrow and regret for how the next several years unfolded, and particularly for how she treated her son. “I made life miserable for our family. I shamed my son and missed his entire adolescence,” she says. The one bright light during that time, Cunningham says, was Rex. “He was an ally to Parker, and I’m so thankful.”
A mother’s path to pride
Cunningham’s transformation began, she says, while witnessing Parker’s own transformation into a happy, healthy adult living his authentic truth. She was forced to examine her core belief system, and, in turn, her heart began to soften.
“I learned from other mothers who had gone through the same journey from the church to the Pride parade,” she says. “I learned that it’s OK to search the matter out. I got educated on things like the history of human sexuality, science, and evidence that convinced me we’ve been duped — that the Scripture we believed in had been misinterpreted and misused.”
In 2015, Parker invited his parents to a Pride festival, and that’s when everything started to click for Cunningham. She created a homemade button with the words “Free Mom Hugs” and wore it, determined to offer hugs to anyone she made eye contact with.
“The first hug I gave went to a beautiful young girl who said it had been four years since she had a hug from her mother because she’s a lesbian,” Cunningham says. “The stories I heard that day haunted me.”
In 2018, Cunningham launched her nonprofit. Her mission for the organization is simple: “We empower the world to celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community through visibility, education, and conversation.” To that end, Free Mom Hugs participates in Pride events, parades, and public speaking engagements. It organizes peaceful demonstrations to advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights, and collaborates with other national and local organizations on projects that help communicate its message of inclusion. In 2023, Free Mom Hugs hosted its first Love Revolution conference, which featured speakers, activism-driven educational sessions, and panel discussions.
Free Mom Hugs now has chapters in every state. “We try to be a loving presence in the lives of those who need,” Cunningham says. “But we never try to replace anyone's parents.” The goal, she notes, is to help foster authentic relationships between parents and their children.
A continuing journey of healing
Cunningham acknowledges she still has a ways to go to repair her relationship with Parker, and that it will take time. “I’m so thankful that we have a relationship,” she says.
Along with her ongoing work on herself, she continues to channel her energy into Free Mom Hugs and spreading her message of unconditional love and acceptance. “We are looking for ways to not only be that loving presence but to be a voice and to make our words, actions, and visibility count.”
But she also dreams of a time when members of the LGBTQIA+ community can be their true selves without needing the support of organizations like hers.
“I hope someday we won't need Free Mom Hugs,” she says.
AUTHOR
Rebecca Razo has over 20 years of experience in book and magazine publishing, editorial project management, and content creation. She has overseen the creative development of hundreds of books, and she writes across multiple categories, including art, DIY, home decor, lifestyle, and more. Originally from Southern California, Rebecca now lives in the Pacific Northwest where she enjoys hiking, reading, baking, and cuddling with her two dogs and cat.